Friends, the heat of August has given way to September. The evenings grow cooler, the leaves begin to turn, kids head off to school and at long last its time to renew my quixotic quest to go over .500 picking NFL games.
DISCLAIMER: The following NFL Picks are for entertainment purposes only. Readers are advised, in the strongest possible terms, against utilizing this information for gambling purposes. Not because gambling is wrong, but because the picks most certainly are.
Miami (+1) at PITTSBURGH The Steelers will emphasize the run and field position even more than normal in an effort to avoid putting backup QB Charlie Batch in bad situations (a “bad situation” for Batch is any situation in which he is asked to throw). However, I think the Dolphins have enough talent on defense that they will stop the Steelers if they go one-dimensional. The game will be, at some point, in Batch’s hands and that will be trouble. When the Fins have the ball I think Culpepper will get enough help from the running game to score some points.
The Pick: Miami +1. I’m not ecstatic to be backing Culpepper on the road after his abysmal decision-making last season, but Charlie Batch is a few notches shakier. Culpepper could rise to the occasion and return to his Pro Bowl form, the ceiling for Batch on the other hand is much lower (at best he will turn in mediocre numbers and avoid the killer turnover).
Denver (-3.5) at St. LOUIS Ok. Here is a fantasy football gripe. I’ve read a couple of sites that rate Stephen Jackson (1046 yards, 8 TDs) over Rudi Johnson (1458 yards, 12 TDs). Granted, I’m sure Jackson’s numbers will go up without Faulk stealing carries and without Mike Martz going all pass-whacky. However, isn’t Rudi a safer bet? What is the ceiling on Jackson? He needs a 40% bump in yardage just to equal Rudi. Why not go with the proven performer? On the other side, I love Denver’s addition of Javon Walker. Along with the ageless Rod Smith, the Broncos have everything—well, except their QB is guaranteed to choke in the playoffs. I’ll take Denver and the –3.5.
NY Jets (+3) at TENNESSEE If the U.S. military were to make Guantanamo detainees watch this game, it would violate 11 articles of the Geneva Convention. Take the Jets and the +3.
Atlanta (+6) at CAROLINA Big divisional matchup here. Carolina is just solid through-and-through. Its understandable that they are the chic pick to win the NFC. Steve Smith’s hammies are worrisome. If he goes down, their passing offense will be thinner than Nicole Ritchie after a week on Survivor. On the flip side, Atlanta has a good defense and a great running game. Their passing game is dysfunctional. You have a unique (albeit overrated) talent in Michael Vick, why not tailor the offense around him? Their passing game should be based on the Techmo Bowl Philadelphia Eagles. Everybody loved picking the Raiders and destroying people with the two-headed Marcus Allen/Bo Jackson backfield. I always picked the Eagles. Send the receivers deep and if no one is open, scramble with Randall Cunningham. That’s what they should to with Vick. It makes no sense to plug him in an offense that doesn’t utilize his strong arm and athletic ability. To steal a line from my buddy Matt, it’s like casting Samuel L. Jackson in a movie and not allowing him to swear.Carolina’s at home, Smith’s a gamer so he’ll play, I’ll take Carolina and the –6. Cincinnati (+2.5) at KANSAS CITY Warning: author is a Bengals fan—homer pick to follow. I was at PBS for Carson Palmers preseason debut against Green Bay. I’ve never been to a preseason game before and I can’t imagine the crowds for a typical preseason game are anything like what I witnessed. The place was absolutely electric. Carson comes onto the field to a standing ovation. Carson enters the game to a standing ovation. Carson completes his first pass and bounces up from his first hit (same play) HUGE standing ovation. By way of analysis, I’m a little worried about Houshmanzedah’s availability (Questionable). The guy is critical to the passing attack. Green Bay doubled Chad Johnson and singled up Charles Woodson on TJ. TJ proceeded to light up Woodson for 90+ yards and a TD. They’ll miss him if he’s out. All the same, I’ll take my Bengals and the +2.5.
Seattle (-6) at DETROIT Detroit added a new coach in the off season, but this club’s problems go higher up than the guy calling the plays and wearing the ugly NFL licensed apparel on Sundays. This club will not be a winner until Matt Millen gets poop-canned. Drafting wide receivers high in the first round for three years running has to be one of the dumbest draft moves ever. Particularly so when two look like absolute busts. While that will be Millen’s legacy, I suspect Lions fans will rue the day he passed on Matt Leinart. Did I mention that the Lions D-Line coach was recently arrested for driving while au natural? No word on if their was a sock in the passenger seat. As for this game, the Madden jinx hasn’t hit yet, so I like Seattle to dominate this game. Take Seattle and the –6.
Philadelphia (-4) at HOUSTON Two teams that blew the offseason. Houston passed on Reggie Bush. A guy who looks like a gamebreaker and, perhaps more importantly, who could serve as the face of the franchise. In Philly, the Eagles pride themselves on being frugal in free agency. They did make something of a splash by adding Darren Howard at DE to pair with Jevon Kearse. They’ll be better at pressuring the QB, which is an absolute must given the amount of man coverage they use. Unfortunately, they did nothing to improve their offense. They threw the ball something like 63% of the time, were terrible rushing the ball and even sent engraved letters to opposing defenses inviting them to ignore the run and rush the passer. And were shocked, SHOCKED when their QB goes down with an injury. All that and they didn’t add a starter quality RB or WR in the offseason. Dumb. I still take the Eagles and the –4. But the Eagles will be lucky to go 6-10.
Baltimore (+3) at TAMPA BAY The story of the Raven’s off season has been the addition veteran QB Steve McNair. The untold story of the Raven’s off season is their curious decision to do nothing to upgrade their aging offensive line—led by the fossilized remains for former Pro Bowler Jonathon Ogden. I like the McNair move, but he struggled in his final years with the Titans because of a lack of supporting cast. I don’t see how it will be any different in Baltimore with the (lack of) talent around him—especially that O-line which can’t pass protect. On the other side, Chris Simms has three strikes against him, he’s inexperienced, he had only a 10-7 TD-to-INT ratio last season and his middle name is “Dav” (seriously). But he has a better line, better running game, and, IMO, a better defense. Tampa and the –3.
Nawlins (+3) at CLEVELAND The addition of Brees and Bush makes the Saints one of the most intriguing offenses in Madden ’07. Unfortunately, in the real world, the O-line won’t block anybody so Drew might be taking the snap and curling up into the fetal position before season’s end. I like Cleveland’s pick up of Hank Fraley, he’ll be solid in the middle of that o-line. I think their defense will improve, but I worry about their inexperience at the skill positions on offense and I’m not sold on Charlie Frye. I watched him play Cincinnati last season and I think every one of his completions came when he rolled out and threw a five or ten yard out. That’s fine against the Bengals, but good defensive teams will adjust and either pile-drive him with an OLB blitz or put their CBs in a short zone and pick him off. I’m not crazy about either, so I’ll take the Saints and the +3.
Buffalo (+9) at NEW ENGLAND The middle linebacker formerly known as London Fletcher changed his name to London Fletcher-Baker to honor his father and grandfather. While this story is touching, I just can’t bring myself to back a team whose defensive enforcer hyphenates his last name. The Bills do welcome back Peerless Price after a stint in Atlanta where he won the Alvin Harper award (given to the #2 receiver who dupes a team into thinking he’s a #1 and signing him for a lot of money and then promptly goes poof). That and I don’t know how many points I would need to get in order to bet on J.P. Losman at this juncture. The Pick: NEW ENGLAND –9. Also, if you are looking for a deep fantasy sleeper, nab Reche Caldwell of the Patriots in the later rounds. Prior to a season-ending injury, he was coming on for the Chargers last year.
Chicago (-3.5) at GREEN BAY Green Bay went 4-12 last season. This year they add Charles Woodson and A.J. Hawk to the mix. Way to aim for 5-11. Chicago and the –3.5.
San Fran (+9) at ARIZONA Zona is the chic pick as a sleeper for the second year in a row. While Edgerrin James is a nice addition, there are eleven teams in the Big Ten with a better offensive line. Fortunately, they get to play San Fran twice a year. San Fran keeps it close—Niners and the +9.
Dallas (+2.5) at JACKSONVILLE Dallas’s D should be very good this year. I think the TO situation will blow up before season’s end (lead pipe cinch). Jacksonville has a tough D as well, but they haven’t bothered to develop an offense. Dallas and the +2.5.
Indianapolis (-3) at NY GIANTS Manning Bowl. A big game. Lots of pressure. Is it possible for both Mannings to choke this one away? Colts and the –3. (Its clear I’m running out of gas here, right?)
Minnesota (+4.5) at WASHINGTON Congratulations to Daniel Snyder and the Redskins! The Browns kind of gave them a run for their money, but once again the ‘Skins WON THE OFFSEAON! Sure, they had to pay #1 receiver money to Randle-El (who will be their #3 receiver) and overpaid for Adam Archuleta—but that’s what you’ve got to do to repeat as offseason champs. I like Minnesota and the +4.5.
San Diego (-3) at OAKLAND Let’s see, if I pick the Chargers I’m betting on a team with a good defense and an excellent running game that features one of the best backs in the league. Their big question mark is the quarterback position with the debut of Phillip Rivers. I also get to bet against Aaron Brooks. And I’m only giving up 3 points? Take the money and run! San Diego and the –3.